“Secrets are made to be found out with time.”
Bom-unnie’s wedding is coming up soon. The whole family is busy preparing for it except for Sandy who seems to be feeling down lately. I tried talking to her about it but she always reason out that she’s just tired. Tired from what? All she does lately is eat, sleep, watch TV then do the cycle again. I sense something is really troubling her but Sandy is the type of person who wants to keep things to herself. She is strong and stubborn but I think she needs someone by her side.
“Sandy, ahh… Will you go with me?” I asked her as she entered our room with a pack of chips in her hand. She looks pale. It’s almost like we look the same. I’m looking pale because of my sickness but what about her?
“Hmmm… Where to Dara dear?” She smiled at me before she slumped in the beanbag where she sits when she watches TV.
“Just anywhere? I would like to go to the cliff and watch the view.” I move towards her and slumped against the beanbag then placed my head on her shoulder. I miss spending time with her like this.
“Hmmm… Why don’t we just watch TV?” Sandy answered grinning at me. She barely gets out from our room. “By the way, I wanna talk with you.” She then sat up and looked at me.
Finally, I’ve been waiting for this. “Sure… “I answered her with a wide smile.
“I’ve been thinking of moving out from our room for awhile.”
“What do you mean?”
“I want to have my own room.”
“Deh…” I really feel weird. It feels like this conversation will lead to something bad.
“I’m sorry.” Sandy looked at me teary eyed before she looks at the TV and continued watching.
“I’ve done something terrible.” Sandy spoke as she continued munching chips. “I will be going far away for awhile. Maybe for a year or two. Who knows?”
“Why? What happened?” I grabbed the remote control and turned off the TV. I grabbed her shoulders and turned her to face me.
“I’m sorry I won’t be able to take care of you anymore. I’m a lousy nurse anyway.”
“It’s okay… you really take good care of me when my condition isn’t stable and I know that you never wanted to be a nurse. So, I really understand. But, why go away? Where are you going?” I shake her a little, wanting to let her blurt out the truth. She’s hiding something, I know that for sure. “Are you sick? Is that why? You’ve been pale these past few days and I notice there are times when you go to the bathroom and I hear you vomiting.”
“Yeah. A little bit sick. Sick to the heart maybe.” She smiled at me wearily, not looking at me straightly.
“Look at me in the eye! Tell me what really happened? You couldn’t have gotten the same disease I have.” I cupped her face and stared at her. It’s not the same Sandy I know, my other half, the bright stubborn happy-go-lucky girl. She looks broken and torn apart. What really happened? Why did it took long for me to notice what she’s been going through? What kind of sister am I? And to think, I’m her twin-sister. I should know these things. “Does Bom-unnie know?”
“Anee (No)… I couldn’t tell anyone especially her.” Her tears start falling from her weary eyes. She must have been holding it up for too long. No matter how strong a person is, they always need someone. Instead of asking questions, I hug her tightly holding her head in my hands, leaning it on my shoulder. My other hand rubs her back soothingly.
“It’s okay. Just always remember I’m here for you.” She cried until she has fallen asleep. I will give her time to tell me what it is.
Next day, Sandy woke up feeling refreshed and looking healthy. I guess her crying from last night, unloaded the burden and gave her a little strength. “Morning dear.”
“Morning too… What are you doing?”
“Writing in my diary. You should never read this, okay?” I grin at her as she yawned and scampered out of the bed to go to the bathroom. I hear the vomiting sound again. I have to tell her to go to the hospital. She may really be sick to her stomach. Then, water start running from the shower. She must be taking a bath.
A few minutes later, Bom-unnie enters the room.
“Dara, can I borrow a dress?”
“Eh? For What? You’ve got tons of dresses yourself.” I asked confused.
“Hmm… Don’t ask too many questions dearie. Just hand me one.”
“I don’t have likes for the type of dresses you want. And I rarely have skirts. Ask Sandy.”
Bom-unnie moves toward Sandy’s bed and take a seat. “Okay… Where is she by the way? I rarely see her. She seems to be hibernating.” Bom-unnie laughs as she stands up and takes Sandy’s blanket to fold it. After folding it, she takes the pillows and is going to arrange it one by one when a bag falls out underneath a pillow. With aquestioning look, Bom-unnie picks it up and the things that are inside the bag scattered on the floor. She picks it up and places it back inside the bag. But, when she picks up a handkerchief, something falls from it. Something that catches both our eyes. Bom-unnie hurriedly picked it up. I move towards Bom-unnie’s side and took a closer look. A pregnancy test with a positive result? We both look at each, who could possibly own this? We both have the same answer in mind. But we don’t know what to do or even say at each other. Bom-unnie quickly wraps it back at the handkerchief and places it back at the bag and underneath the pillow.
She quickly left the room looking dazed. I guess we have the same thought. We should let Sandy be the one to tell us. We should wait when she is ready to tell us all about it. But, how could she get pregnant when she doesn’t even have a boyfriend? Did her patient, what’s his name, got her pregnant? But, it’s just 2 weeks. Can something happen within that time? How come she didn’t tell us? So, that’s why she looks weary and tired always, the vomiting and eating habits. We should have at least guessed.
I still can’t believe what I just discovered. Maybe the pregnancy test result wasn’t hers. Maybe it was from a friend. But, why would she keep it in her own bag and beneath a pillow. It’s like she really want to keep it a secret from us. But, why?
“Earth to Bommie!” Youngbae snapped his fingers in front of me. It was almost lunch and we plan to eat at a nearby café after choosing flowers for our wedding.
“Hmmm…” I look at him with questioning eyes.
“You still haven’t eaten your food yet. You were just twirling and twirling your fork on your pasta.”
“Ow…” I look down at my plate. Yeah. I haven’t taken a bite of my food yet. I guess, I have no appetite at all even if I didn’t eat breakfast this morning.
“Is there something wrong?” Youngbae asked me as he touches my hand lightly.
I look up at him. Should I tell him what’s troubling me? Maybe he knows something about Dara’s situation since they’re also close with each other.
“Uhmm… there’s something about Dara.”
“What about her?” I notice Youngbae’s eyes flicker for a moment. It seems like he is eager to hear something about her. Or, was it just my imagination?
“Hmmm… I found something in her bag. I really don’t know if I should tell you. She didn’t even tell me yet. It’s like she’s keeping it as a secret.” My hands are fidgeting. I still didn’t know if I should tell him or not. Sandy may hate me if I tell anyone without her notice especially since she still hasn’t told anyone yet. But, why keep it a secret?
“Really? She has a secret? I never thought she’s the type of person who keeps a secret especially if it has something to do with her. Doesn’t she usually tell you sisters? Or even CL?”
Ohh yes… How could I forget to ask CL? But, she’s currently at Europe now in training again. She’s also like me, aspiring to be a singer. But, she’s currently enrolled at a different music academy. And, Sandy always wanted to study with her.
“Nope… It’s a different matter. It’s something which shouldn’t be discussed with just anyone else.” I wipe my hands on my short skirt. The place is air-conditioned but my hands are getting sweaty. Maybe I should tell him, he is going to be my husband after all.
“Something you couldn’t tell me?” Youngbae moves his face closer to me. It seems like he is really interested to know what it is.
“No… no… I mean, I want to share it with you. I can trust you, right? I mean, I trust you.”
“But, if the matter is something to be discussed within family only, I guess I’m part of your family too.”
“I’m not sure about Sandy… she might not like me telling you.”
“It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me. I understand.”
“By the way, it’s almost 2:00 PM. You have an appointment with your manager. We have to go.” Youngbae stood up immediately without waiting for my response. I guess he is angry at how I didn’t open up to him. I trust him right? But why can’t I tell him about this? I just followed him silently after paying our bill then proceeded to his car.
Inside the car, the silence is deafening. I guess he must have really felt bad about it. He must be thinking I didn’t trust him enough. We are on our way to “21 Evolution” Studio, my new management agency who will handle my debut as a singer. Finally, my dream is within reach. We are planning to schedule the release of my album next year since, we are still halfway from it. About my wedding, my manager knows, we decided to keep it as secret as much as we could. But, she told me, it wouldn’t matter if I’m married or not so long as I have the talent. But, it will lessen the popularity since fan boys will be discourage knowing someone already took my heart which leave no chance for them.
I look at Youngbae who is totally focused with his driving, what is he thinking? Youngbae is the type of person who keeps much to himself and rarely let anybody get into his world. That’s why my family and I are lucky that he open up with us. I guess it won’t be any trouble to tell him about it cause I’m pretty sure he would never tell a soul. Right?
“Are you angry?”
“Because I didn’t tell you?” I notice his hand flinch for a second. Being with him for almost 2 years makes me aware of his every move.
“Nah… I understand it. But, you shouldn’t have told me in the first place if you wouldn’t want to share it.” He looks at me slightly before going back to focus on the road. We are heading towards an intersection. The traffic light is currently green and he was driving at a steady pace.
“It’s not that. I wanted to tell you after Sandy tell us about it. But, I guess she’s planning to keep it secret with herself.”
“Eh? Why? You’re really making me nervous. What is it all about?” Youngbae keeps gazing at me and the road back and forth.
“She didn’t even tell Dara, her twin and her sister.”
“How did you know that?”
“I could see from Dara’s reaction that she didn’t know about it. We found out at the same time. And Dara came up to me last night, asking if something happened between me and Sandy.”
“Really? Why?” I noticed after my last statement. Youngbae have been gripping the steering wheel really tight. And he seems too nervous. His eyes may seem to focus on the road but he looks like he is look at me instead at the corner of his eye. What is going on with him? Does he know something?
“Did Sandy meet some guy at Australia?”
“Ehh.. I don’t know. She must have, there are many guys at the camp. Why do you ask that?”
“I mean, is she seeing somebody there or someone you know?” I look at the speedometer, Youngbae have increases his speed from 40 to 60. That’s still his normal speed in driving but when we are on a free way and not on an almost crowded street.
“None that I know of. Why? Is something wrong?” As he said those words, I think he wants to stop driving and just talk about it but instead he continues driving. He didn’t look at me as he replied which is weird, cause he usually glance sideways when he talk while driving.
“What?!!!” Youngbae shouts and the next thing I hear are screeching tires, breaking glasses, and myself screaming as we hit another car on the intersection. The light has gone red but Youngbae must have missed it, instead of stepping up on the brake, he must have step on the accelerator instead. Then, everything turns dark.