[FanFiction] ALR Chapter 2 Part 9: Incurable Wound

Far as distress the soul can wound… ‘Tis pain in each degree; Bliss goes but to a certain bound, Beyond is agony.

Bom is starting to regain her consciousness but she keeps her eyes closed. It seems like she doesn’t want to see anything she might regret. Bom tries to be aware of her surrounding by listening and then she hears voices. They seem to be arguing but in hushed voices. I must be in a hospital already after being in an accident. I wonder how many minutes or hours have passed already. What really happened? Bom asked herself after being fully conscious but still kept her eyes shut. She still doesn’t want to see anyone. Unnerving feelings have been bothering her. It seems like nothing will ever be the same again.

Youngbae is the type of person who is really careful. It’s not like him to be that careless. Bom was about to contemplate more on the incident when she recognized the voice of Sandy. She was crying and seems to be talking with someone. Is she talking to Dara? Bom slowly opened her eyes to check who are inside the room. It was only Sandy, but she was leaning on Yongbae’s bed, gripping the sheet beside him while muttering something in between sobs. Bom didn’t know that she and Youngbae were placed in the same room. My parents must have arranged it with the hospital and Sandy must be the one tending us as of the moment. Bom assumed with the current condition she observed that it could be the case. But why is she leaning on Youngbae’s bed instead of mine? And crying? Bom asked as she looked over to where Sandy was. Sandy still didn’t notice that Bom’s already awake since her back was to Bom.

Then Youngbae started to stir. He winces in pain. His head and his hand are currently wrapped in a bandage. Sandy looked at him and touched his head. “Are you okay? Don’t move too much. You might hurt yourself.”

The scene could pretty much sting somebody’s heart. Bom never thought her sister could be that affectionate towards a guy.It’s now making her nervous and edgy. She wanted to speak but wishes to know more. It seems like there is something between them that I don’t know about, she thought as she closed her eyes and let her ears do the listening.

Youngbae looks at Sandy and wonder why she is here. When he moved, a pain shot inside his head. He frowns and wonders why he is in pain or where he is. He tried to reach out to Sandy but he couldn’t even move it. So much pain.

“Don’t. Don’t move.” Sandy holds Yongbae’s right hand.

“What happened?” Youngbae asked her.

“You were in an accident.” Sandy responded.

“Accident? How come? When?” Youngbae is still bewildered. The pain in his head keeps him from thinking straight.

“Yesterday around 2 pm. You don’t remember?” He couldn’t possibly have amnesia right? Sandy asked herself with a worried expression.

Youngbae tried to digest what Sandy told him. He was in an accident yesterday around 2 in the afternoon. Where could he be going to at such time? He thinks and tries to recall what he did yesterday. It only makes the pain in his head worse. He closed his eyes and a flashback of him and Sandy in Australia appeared. He was holding her hand caressing it while sniffing the scent of her hair. It lessens the pain. What happened after then? Does Bom know about them already?  Have they told her about them?

Sandy feels stupid rubbing Youngbae’s hand. She must be so stupid doing this after what they’ve been through and to think she could never tell him about it because he will never be hers. Youngbae’s next question shocked her.

“Does Bom know about us already? We should tell her.” Youngbae opened his eyes and looked at Sandy questioningly.

“I. We. I. ” Sandy didn’t know what to say. What was Youngbae talking about? There was never an us. Didn’t he made it clear that he chose Bom already?

“We really should tell her about us.” Youngbae rubs Sandy’s hand back.

“Wait. What are you talking about?” Sandy removes her hands from his grasp.

“What do you mean? I’m talking about us. You know something happened between us. We both like each other, don’t we?”

“Yes, something happened between us but we decided to forget about it. Don’t you remember?” Sandy is bewildered. It is making her feel nervous. A spark of hope flickers in her heart. No, this is wrong. Youngbae seem to have amnesia, I have to call a doctor to check up on him.

Youngbae tries to take Sandy’s hand but it only made him wince.

“I told you not to move… “Sandy muttered furiously but she holds his hand again. Youngbae clutched it tightly like he is afraid she will leave him.

“Sandy. I know you love me. I guess I do too. Bom will understand us. She has to.” Youngbae muttered as he rubbed his thumb on Sandy’s hand.

“Please. stop talking. You didn’t know what you’re saying.” Sandy has to stop it. She loved what she was hearing but she knows it was all wrong. He didn’t know what he was saying. She tries to remove her hand and get up to look for the doctor but Youngbae holds her firmly. “I have to get a doctor. I have to let them know that you’re awake and check up on you. You seem to have amnesia.”

“Don’t. amnesia? Why do you say so?” Youngbae look bewildered. His eyebrows form a frown in his forehead.

“Cause you are talking nonsense.” Sandy tries to pull her hand away again and this time manages to slip it off from his grasp. She stood up and walked towards the door when Youngbae said something she knew will linger in her mind for a long time.

“I may have amnesia but surely I won’t forget that I love you.” Youngbae said as he watched Sandy walk towards the door without even glancing back at him. Does he have amnesia? What really happened? Sandy didn’t even stop after what he said but opened the door and stepped out, silently closing the door behind her.

As soon as Sandy closed the door, she leaned against it and let her tears fall. How could Youngbae  say that? Does he know what he did to me? Does he know I’m having his child? Sandy rubbed her stomach and tried to feel the life within her. She couldn’t keep herself from crying. Who could blame her? She wanted to give her child a father but it will mean ruining her sister’s happiness. She didn’t know why she wasn’t able to restrain herself from Youngbae’s affection. If she didn’t want to hurt her sister, she should have avoided him in the first place. But she wanted him too. And she really envies her sister having him. It seems like Youngbae really forgot some events which happened recently. What should she do? Youngbae said he loves her. Did he mean it? Will I be able to tell Bom-unnie about us? How should I tell her without hurting her so much? And she is already hurting from the pain of the accident. If I’ll tell her now, I’d be adding salt to her wounds. Sandy moved  towards the nurse station and ask for a doctor to check up on the patient in room 425. She also told them about the possibility of amnesia. Instead of going back to the room, she walked around the hall aimlessly thinking on what she should do. She climbed the stairs on her right, and just continues climbing the stairs without getting aware what floor she  was on . She just keeps asking “What should I do?”, “Should I tell him we have a child?”, “Does he really love me?” She just keeps repeating those questions numerous times. Then suddenly her breathing became hard. she stopped  mid stride. breathe in. breathe out. No one is in sight. She suddenly feels unwell. She clutched her heart and tried to sit on the side of the wall to rest. She tried to calm herself when a sudden pang of pain shot thru her womb. Regardless of the pain, she started walking downstairs and hurried for the hallway. There was a throbbing pain but she could bear it. What she couldn’t think to bear is losing her child. The thinking and walking must have stressed her out and affected her child.

“Please don’t leave me. I never think of you as a burden. I just need to know what I should do.. ” Sandy talked to the child inside her while rubbing her stomach tenderly. When she reached the hallway, she hurriedly looked for a nurse. But before she could find one, another shot of pain made her kneel on the ground. The pain is unbearable this time. She tried to stand up but couldn’t. The pain is making her curl up into a ball. Then suddenly, a hand tenderly grasped her shoulder, lifted her up and carried her in powerful arms. She looked at the man who saved her. Blond hair, chinky eyes, firm mouth. He looks carefree but serious. His eyes depict strength and boldness. but soulless. Sandy smiled at her knight who bravely carried her before closing her eyes, knowing she is safe.

Bom heard it all clearly. Even with her eyes closed, she could picture out everything. Youngbae, her fiancée, loves her sister. How come she didn’t notice it at all? She remembered when she talks about Sandy, Youngbae seem to listen eagerly to her and his eyes flickers for a moment. She trusted Youngbae too much she could never think about it. What really happened which made things turn out like this? Everything about Youngbae and her seems perfect. Everyone envies their relationship. How come it turned out like this? What made Youngbae turn his affection towards others? And worst, how could he possibly turn it towards her sister? Bom still didn’t stir. but slowly tears are forming in her eyes which are clamoring to get out. She firmly holds it back so that no one will notice her. So that, no one will notice how stupid she is. How stupid she is not to notice that the man she loves, loves another woman which happens to be her sister. She cried inside, loud enough that her own soul could only hear. If Sandy is pregnant, the most viable choice of father will be Youngbae. Even if she denies it, her soul knows the truth. She wanted to scream. But would it change anything? She wanted to hold on to Youngbae but it will make her own niece or nephew fatherless and Sandy in pain. She also didn’t want that. And she didn’t know who to hate? Sandy? Youngbae? Or herself? She knows she’s at fault too. She knows Sandy sees Youngbae differently. She knows Youngbae wanted a woman who will stay by his side. She knows she wasn’t ready for marriage yet. But what she didn’t know is what exactly happened that made them do this to her? She knows Sandy loves her. She also knows Youngbae loves her. How could they do this to her? She wished the accident had killed her. She wished she didn’t woke up at all so she wouldn’t have to know these things who will give her an incurable wound. She wishes she’s the one who has amnesia. No matter how much she wishes she knows things will never be the same again. What should we all do?

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